The Bloody Pit of Horror

The Bloody Pit of Horror
Genre - Horror

“My vengeance needs blood” – Marquis de Sade

Former Muscleman and Jayne Mansfield’s husband at the time, Mickey Hargitay stars as the crimson executioner. A group of models travel to a castle with a photographer to shoot some pseudo-torture shots for a novel a writer is working on. Inside though they discover much more than they had bargained for when mysteriously one by one each member of the crew begins to disappear and is found dead by various means. Turns out the master of the house dislikes company and fancies himself the resurrected “crimson executioner”.



Soon he’s captured the rest of the crew and is torturing each of them to purify their souls. It’s up to the intrepid author to save as many of the remaining crew as he can (and trust me, it ain’t much). This Italian horror is full of diabolic torture devices and demented ramblings of an outlandish madman. Bloody Pit of Horror is an all around good time and one of the best from the golden age of Italian horror.



5 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

The Gore Gore Girls

The Gore Gore Girls
H.G. Lewis
1972 – color – 81 min
Genre – gore/comedy/sickie

Frank Kress is Abraham Gentry, to date I’m still not entirely sure if he’s supposed to be so brilliant that he’s misunderstood or if he’s just a fucking jerk. My instincts tell me it’s the latter. Though I have to admit he does drive an awesome car. Dingbat reporter Nancy convinced the mad genius to work on a case of murdered strippers and go-go dancers. It seems our murderer has an issue with the adult entertainment.

The murderer dispatches his victims in the most gruesome ways imaginable. The gore in these sequences is some of Lewis’ most imaginative. I love how the film incorporates lewd comedy with the nudie dance scenes and the delightfully violent gore scenes to make one of the sickest sickies out there. Another winner by H.G. Lewis, come for the tits and stay for the gore. Don’t forget to keep your eyes peeled for the “well tenderized rump roast”

Throw Henny Youngman into the mix and you’ve got yourself a fun night full of depravity!

5 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

Below the Belt

(Not looking at the double feature disc, just Below the Belt. I do own both of these as well)

Below the Belt
A Harry Novak Presentation
Directed by Bethel Buckalew
1970 –color
Genre – Nudie/Roughie

Below the belt may possibly be the meanest film I’ve ever seen Buckalew Direct. I’ve already written about the Buckalew Classick Sassy Sue and I own several others. Typically they tend to emphasize the fun factor and are very easy on the eye, but below the belt takes it in a very violent direction. Though it’s not surprising that it still winds up being a great film. It’s just a little disconcerting at first when you’re so used to a particular director doing nudie cuties and they take such turn in the roughie direction. It still just proves that Buckalew is a master of their form.

Below the belt stars John Tull (taking a surprising dramatic turn from his usual comedic supporting roles) as Sammy, manager for a small time boxer and all around bad guy. He likes to beat woman and has a serious Napoleonic complex. Johnny is his fighter. Johnny is a real nice guy. He’s a little slow, but strong as an ox. His trainer is Benny who’s played by veteran character actor Buck Flower who will always give a good performance.

Supplying the breasts is a bevy of gorgeous ladies. Rene Bond is a sight to behold, arguably the most attractive woman of the time and easily the most charismatic. Uschi Digart is a double D delight, she’s definitely more enjoyable when you’re seeing her and not hearing her as her accent is borderline painful. Speaking of painful accents our trio of buxom babes is topped off with Mirka who has a lot to offer the screen, just pray she’s not speaking.

One of the few roughies to brave the bold world of color film. Below the belt may not be the best in the market, but it certainly is enjoyable

3 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

A Little Something (Weird) for ya...

Found this article on the great Chesty Morgan. A Woman I have personally written songs about. Between Double Agent 73 and Deadly Weapons, her "skills" have been pretty well showcased for the world to see. Well for all of you out there that may have wondered where she is now. I give you this



Enjoy it sickos!

Mantis in Lace (aka Lila)

Mantis in lace (AKA Lila)
A Harry Novak Presentation
1968 – color – 87 min
Genre – Ghoulie

Oh the Ghoulie, degenerate cousin to the roughie. Where in the roughie, sex leads to violence. In the ghoulie sex leads to death, bloody, bloody gruesome death. And in mantis in lace, it delivers in spades. Lila is a topless go go dancer. I have no idea how she’s maintained a job except based on her looks because she’s the single worst go go dancer I’ve ever seen ands trust me, I’ve seen plenty. Lila seduces men and brings them back to a warehouse she’s using to bring guys to have sex with. This whole set up goes terribly wrong when she brings a man back who has her drop acid with him. Needless to say she has a bad trip and he ends up in a field chopped to bits like so much unwanted firewood.

Sprinkle in some amazing breasts, a few more murders, a police investigation, Stuart Lancaster from Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! And some bizarre psychedelic LSD trips and you’ve got yourself a film for the ages. Mantis in lace is a truly twisted tale of sex drugs and dismemberment. Fun for the whole family.

5 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

The Awful Dr. Orlof

The Awful Dr Orlof
Jesus Franco
1962 – B&W - 86 min

Jesus Franco is something of a madman auteur. Not madman as in insane, but in the fact that he’s so disturbingly prolific it’s a daunting task to even try to name all the films the man has made let alone watch them. The Awful Dr Orlof is one Franco’s earliest masterpieces. It’s the story of the dark and sinister, brooding Dr. Orlof who is on a mission to save his daughter who was burned badly in a fire. To this end he kidnaps women and uses them for skin grafts. He completes his tasks with the help of (the truly disturbing to look at) Morpho. Morpho is blind and once you see the make up they keep him in you’ll wonder as I did if the actor behind it could see anything at all. Not only is it effective as showing his blindness it’s an image that will more than likely haunt you.


Dr Orlof, Not Morpho

One of my favorite aspects of Orlof has always been the films sarcasm. The dialog for this horror flick is witty and characters seem to have great repartee. In one of my favorite scenes the inspector who’s working the case of the missing girls plays with an interviewee verbally before having him sent to the insane asylum. It’s little additions like that scene that make The Awful Dr Orlof more than just senseless grindhouse fare. Though the modest director would probably deny it if you were to say it to him, but the man is a true artist, an insane artist based on some of his later work, but an artist nevertheless.



5 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

*More Sad news, I was just informed that SWV no longer sells The Awful Dr. Orlof *sniff sniff* I'll do my best in the future to make sure everything I post within the current SWV catalog.

Look What I Found!

While surfing the interwebs, that series of tubes we all know and love. I found this old interview with Mike Vraney, The Exalted Leader in all things classick, on A.V. Club (The serious sibling to The Onion)


check it out here

Bumpkin Theater Presents - Sassy Sue

This is not for the double feature disc, but I do own each of these films

Sassy Sue
A Harry Novak Presentation
Directed by Buckalew
1972 – color
Genre – Nudie/Sexploitation

“Junior’s in love with sassy Sue, Boy he don’t know what to do. No matter who they get poor Junior can’t forget he’s in love with sweet sassy Sue” or so they’s a’sayin durin’ the big surprise revealin. Not all that surprising seein as thar ain’t no Sue in tha movie. It’s a wonder though why Junior ain’t interested in any of the ladies around Pa’s farm though. Yeeehaw they’s purty, spillin out their tops. Pa’s always pettin and a pawin on ‘em and doin a bit more when they’s a willin. Ma don’t mind none though, she’s worryin more about poor Junior and his unhealthy obessin on the livestock. What’s a family to do?


Pa's a pettin' and a pawin'...sorry

I won’t subject you to any more of that. Sassy Sue is one of the classicks. In the 70’s Harry Novak produced a metric ton of backwoods, country bumpkin movies. Sassy Sue stands out mostly due to it having some of the best looking girls. Though country hooker has Rene Bond (whom I’ll go into more detail on when I review one of her flicks, she’s my all time favorite), but what sets Sassy Sue apart the most is how thin Novak Blurred the lines of what could still be considered softcore. Trust me this one will keep you glued to the seat and your dick glued to your abdomen by the time it’s over. A three-tissue film.


Sassy Sue

5 out of 5

Enjoy it sickos

P.S. I know by this point you must be saying to yourself “clearly these reviews are biased since he’s already mentioned that he’s obsessed with Something Weird”, but trust me when I say they get really bad. I’ve just been sparing you and giving a proper introduction with some of the better films. Even Mike Vraney will tell you (like he’s told me) that some of these films are downright awful. Let me be your guide into this seedy underbelly of the film industry and I won’t steer you wrong with what’s good and what’s not. You just have to trust me.

Something Weird

Something Weird
H.G. Lewis
1967 – color
Genre – horror (for lack of any better description)

If you’re watching a film and you happen to notice that it has some weird, almost atonal music to it. You may just be watching a H.G. Lewis film. He had a tendency to do the music for his own films, but the only problem is that he wasn’t really all that musically inclined. Most notorious of his work is the timpani drum music that he did for blood feast, but in a close second is the oddball echo music that is done for Something Weird (SWV’s namesake). Despite the music, the one thing you could almost always expect from Lewis was a good exploitation flick. He was a master, especially when he was working with his long time partner David Friedman. Granted he isn’t working with Friedman on Something Weird, but it’s still one helluva flick.

Cronin Mitchell is an electrical engineer, but in a freak accident his face is burned beyond recognition. By some freak chance, remembering that back in the sixties any little thing could set off some super power, he gains incredible psychic powers. However, due to his deformity he takes a job as a masked fortune reader. One day he gets a visit from a woman named Ellen who offers him an amazing offer. Be her lover and she’ll restore his “beautiful face’. See Ellen is a witch and an ugly one at that and she wants nothing more than to be loved. The unfortunate thing is that everyone else can see her as a beautiful woman, poor Mitch is stuck seeing the witch.

Mitch is asked to help solve a series of grisly murders, you know because he’s a “sensitive”. Apparently, unlike in the “real world”, this small Midwest City requires proof of his abilities. I mean, who cares if there’s a killer they could be catching? He guesses countless flash cards and even levitates; he even manages to get a ghost to stop haunting the local church. While all this is going on Dr. Alex Jordan is observing Mitchell, he observes so much that he falls in love with Ellen. Yeah, poor guy. Between some oddly placed drug use and weird events they somehow manage to discover who was committing all the murders. Just not fast enough to save Mitch from being murdered himself. With Mitchell out of the picture Jordan is free to pursue Ellen and soon discovers that maybe he shouldn’t have.

Something Weird is a lot of fun. It’s so insane on so many levels that the name is amazingly apt. It also makes a lot of sense why this would be the title to inspire the name of the company. Amazing!

Enjoy it sickos

5 out of 5

The Body Beneath

The Body Beneath
Andy Milligan
Color – 82 min
Genre – Horror

To the uninitiated the name Andy Milligan means nothing. To those of us in the know we know better. I read these lists of worst movies ever made and it’s just obvious that none of the people have ever seen an Andy Milligan film. The man is notoriously bad and his films tend to be pretty wild. This is the part where I’m supposed to say, “The body beneath is no different”. This would be inaccurate though. The Body Beneath is actually possibly Milligan’s Masterpiece. It’s the film that proves the man could make a decent film (just not very often).



The story is outlandish to say the least; it follows a preacher name Algernon Ford who just happens to be a vampire. He’s digging up the last of his bloodline in order to help make it strong and powerful again. I’m a little unclear on how, but fuck it Algie seems to know. The film has everything you’d want in a ridiculous low budget horror. We’re treated to a hunchback manservant, a trio of green faced…uh, I guess they’re vampires as well, but not sure why they’re green. And despite it being a horror thee is some pretty decent nudity and the blood FX (notorious at the time for being terrible) look pretty good (for Technicolor blood). Don’t judge Milligan on how good the body beneath is, trust me at some point I’ll do a post about “Fleshpot on 42nd street” then you’ll get a better sense of the true Andy Milligan, the man who makes Edward D Wood Jr. look like Orson fucking Welles.

Enjoy it sickos

4 out of 5

The Defilers/Scum of the Earth Drive-In Double Feature

The Defilers/Scum of the Earth Drive-In Double Feature
David Friedman & R. Lee Frost/ David Friedman & H.G. Lewis
1965/1963 – B+W – 69 min/ 73 min (or 142 min)
Genre – Roughie

One of the greatest advancements in the field of DVD’s in the last decade has been the invention of the Drive-In Double Feature created by our people at Something Weird. Think about it for a second, you have an afternoon to spare and sitting on your shelf is a SW double feature. Pop that baby in and sit back and relax. You, my friend, have nothing to worry about now except making the popcorn and enjoying the flicks. Now if you’re a fucked up individual like me you’ve got The Defilers/Scum of the Earth displayed proudly front and center in your collection.



The Drive-In discs recreate the now lost pastime of watching movies at the local drive in (R.I.P.). IT always starts off with calls to visit the concessions stand and then trailers. There is usually a short subject film and then it’s time for the first feature, in the case The Defilers. Let me let you in on a little secret, The Defilers is my absolute favorite Something Weird Video ever. It’s the epitome of what you’d want in a Roughie. The Defilers is sick, it’s demented and the fact that everything (they touch is stained) they do in the film is “for kicks” makes it that much more fucked up. Two Hedonistic young men in a search for “kicks” decide to abduct a young woman that “no one would miss” and hold her as their personal sex toy. One of the men is way more into the idea than the other and eventually they come to a head. It’s a film so fucked that it’s like a train wreck, once you start watching you won’t want to look away.


My Defilers tattoo

After the first feature film comes intermission with classic “lets go out to the lobby” songs and cartoons and a countdown timer telling you how much longer you have before the next film. I actually used this time to use the bathroom so I’m not sure if I missed anything else, but it’s still a delight to be given time between movies to take care of business. Perhaps get more popcorn or whatever.



Now time for the second feature film, Scum of the Earth. As a bit of an amateur photographer there’s something inherently attractive about Scum. I’ve always loved the idea of the sleazy photographer. A man who can convince girls to take off their clothes, of course the real life parallels in the film to Lewis and Friedman are blatant. The only real difference between real life and the film being the more literal use of the term “picture”, but regardless it was an obvious “fuck you” to the censor boards. Scum also features one of my greatest fantasies, call me a sicko and that’s fine, but I really love the idea of taking something pure and beautiful and making it sick and twisted. The concept of perverting something (or in this case someone) is appealing to me. Although in this case, mostly because the formula hadn’t been created yet, good prevails and the innocent gets to go back to being (for the most part) unscathed. It also manages something almost unheard of in the roughie genre, it has a HAPPY ENDING. Wow, just amazing really, but to me it’s the weaker of the two films.

Thanks to Something Weird, I now have to watch these films back to back every time I put on the disc, which is fine by me because these films were seemingly made to be a double feature. Here you go crackpots, a demented double dipping of our good friend Dave.

Enjoy it sickos

5 out of 5/ 4 out of 5

The Sinful Dwarf

The Sinful Dwarf
A Harry Novak Presentation
1972 – color- 92 min
Genre – Nudie/Roughie

There are few directors in this line of work more prolific than Harry Novak. Unfortunately due to the volume of films he put out there is a pretty good chance of finding a dud. Thank goodness the sinful dwarf is not one of them. In fact I’d say just the opposite, it’s a fantastic little tale of a distorted faced, menacing eyed dwarf named Olaf (played by Torben, who I’m convinced started the trend on the one named movie star). Olaf sort of looks like a midget Jack Black. When a couple rents a room from Olaf’s mother, the wife soon discovers that the pair have been kidnapping woman and keeping them locked in the attic. They keep them drugged to prevent them from running and Olaf runs a prostitution ring out of the room where men pay to have their way with the woman. When the husband discovers the wife is missing (they left him an utterly terrible “dear john” letter) he suspects something is amiss. Thankfully he overhears something while at his new job, which by chance just happens to be the place where Olaf gets his drugs. So needless to say he calls the cops, “Santa Claus” (his employer) is arrested and the police rush to the boarding house where all hell breaks loose. If you want to know what happens well you’ll just have to watch it!



The Sinful Dwarf is one of the more enjoyably demented romps I’ve seen. Torben is excellent as Olaf, it really is a shame that he wasn’t in any more films after this. Due to the nature of the film there’s some wonderful nudity, but also because of it’s roughie nature a lot of that nudity is involved in beatings and all sorts of drug related depravity. Of course when you’re watching a roughie, isn’t that the point? Actually YES IT IS.



Enjoy it sickos

4 out of 5

*Sad news folks, I was just informed that SWV no longer sells The Sinful Dwarf...I guess I'm lucky I was able to get it when they still did. This is a sad day for me.

Something Weird This Way Comes…

Allow me a brief introduction. My name is Moe and I am, how you would say, obsessed. What is my obsession you ask? I’m obsessed with the fine work being done by my friends over at Something Weird Video™. This isn’t a recent obsession. It’s been going on over a decade now. I have amassed in my personal collection one hundred and fifty two something weird films. My collection holds everything ranging from the hardcore to nudie cuties and everything in between. I own signed copies of the blood trilogy, signed by Mr. David F. Friedman (a personal hero of mine). Ultimately though what I’m most proud of is my something weird tattoo (that’s my arm in the header!). I’ve shown it to Mike Vraney and Lisa Petrucci directly and they both really loved it. I’ve decided after all this time to finally start making a record of my obsession and my quest to try and watch every Something Weird Video™ ever. Hold on tight, this is gonna be a fun ride.

- Moe


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